Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
