He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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