normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
