The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
