..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
