TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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