I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
