dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
