So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
