I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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