If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
