I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
