im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
