Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
