Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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