That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
