I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
