I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
