THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Randomize
