It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
