You were right. It hurts to walk today.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
