there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
