Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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