I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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