Whod you bang
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
