were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
