My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
