Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
