I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
