there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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