You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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