There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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