At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
