Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
