I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
