He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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