im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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