Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
