one two three fourrrrnication!
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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