It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
