But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
