Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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