Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think people are normalizing furries
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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