No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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