I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
