Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
