Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize