I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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