I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
