Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
