There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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